When I first started this blog, apparently in 2013, I was addicted to Japanese dramas. Sure, manga is great an all, but I didn't care to sit a couple hours over anime when I could read the original material and imagine the story how I and the creator wanted it to be. But dramas allowed me to dip into a guilty pleasure my family didn't allow- being able to ogle at handsome guys.
I never really found any guys handsome back then, and didn't develop any rabid fangirl obsessions over kpop idols. But for some reason, I saw one guy in a japanese drama and fell right in love. From there, I watched most of his dramas and started to see the others in that season. Slowly, my watch time increased and I was definitely in love with a couple handsome actors at once. Also really loved this one band (ViViD - jrock) but they've disbanded now :(
One of the first guys I was obsessed with was Matsuda Shota. AHHHHH Still hot ;)
Then I liked Yamashita Tomohisa. I even have all his music.
Kamenashi Kazuya
Takeru Satoh
Kim Seok Jin (and BTS)
... Do you know my type yet?? Haha please tell me, because I don't really know. Actually seeing them like this, they all look a little similar LOL. And I KNOW I'm in love with fantasies. Their personalities on TV and shows aren't the real them, but I allow myself to fill in the gaps myself and create a dream for myself.
Side note: I don't imagine anything sexual with my idols. I like watching them on shows but nothing else. >__< I like to admire from afar. Also I like guys with earrings :))
Anyway there you have it. I'm straight. Also I had a crush on someone for about 5 years because I went to an all girls school and never saw any other real life guys to direct my infatuation towards. I did see them at camp but didn't strike up the courage to say anything. After that, I've come close to a couple guys but we have drifted away, mainly because I don't have the courage or maturity to advance any further. Those experience I don't regret or wish for anything more however because I really wasn't ready.
Even now, I'm not. Being self conscious, I don't feel like I would be enough for anyone anyway. I'm definitely not smart enough to uphold any good conversations. I'm lazy and don't have any crazy aspirations. I don't have any cool hobbies and skills. I'm boring. I'm shy. I don't like going out that much. I like being alone and weird. I'm not pretty. I'm awkward as hell. I'll neglect any poor boy that comes my way. Also I think someone might like me. More on that later.
Bye :)
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